Due to traveling and data limitations, online posting will be rare.
Prompt: Don’t think about the end. Write without a destination. Breathing through words can only happen in the Now. Freedom is a gift of the present, not a nostalgia of the past or a hope for the future. Let your what-if’s worry about themselves. You are not finding your way, you are creating it.
Wherein We Learn Her Name and Origin
The sun kept coming. It was hot. She was tired and wiping sweat from her forehead as the sun beat down made her even more weary. North, South, or East? She thought yet again, indecision circling her mind like the vultures circling above their find she watched from her perch under the sign pole. She leaned her head back, letting the waves of heat surround her and carry her away…
“Isla! Isla Bird! Where are you?” Her mother cried, her fear apparant and frantic. The front door slammed shut with a harrumph and loud steps echoed as the back door was thrown open and she screamed again, “Isla! I’m not going to say it again. GET HOME!!” Isla’s mother was a small, round, loud woman from Eastern Europe. Her husband Malik, Isla’s step-father, was an African American whom she had met during a vacation to New York City some years ago. Isla’s father died when she was just a toddler, and Agnes raised her all alone until she met Malik.
It was nice to be married, Agnes thought. I don’t have to work, I can stay home and make sure that my daughter is okay. She turned on the television and stared at it, unfocused. Her mind wasn’t on the screen, it was on dinner and Malik and “ISLA!!!! Where are you, girl?!” Agnes rolled off the sofa, shut off the tv and slammed the remote on the coffeetable. “this little one is going to get it, she mumbled under her breath in exasperation. It was summertime and Isla had just turned 15. Fifteen, agnes smiled. And then she frowned because that was how old she was when Isla was born.
I will write more on this character later on today, I think. My brain will not focus on the story and how I want to continue it. I was considering writing Day 2’s story on the Doctor, but instead I think I will share about character development as I’ve spent A LOT of time determining my character and I think that it will help
Disclaimer: I’m a bit strange in that I joined up with this writing group and I’m on Day 1 while they are on Day 20 something. It’s okay, though. I’m used to being the odd one out or the last one in. No biggie. So here is the prompt and my story. I’m going to try and keep the story in continuity with not only the prompts but also the story itself.
So Here Goes!
Prompt: Your worst enemy is self-doubt. Your only failure, not starting. You are enough. Forget all expectations, interests, considerations…write what your heart dictates, whatever hurts, the most, what haunts you from the places you’ve kept silent.
The crossroads was where she stopped because she thought she heard a baby crying. Dishevelled and unkempt, starving and walking for days without seeing a single person, she reminded herself that the howls of the baby were a figment of her imagination, a memory of something that never happened. She was transported in her mind to the start of her journey. Or was it the end?
The doctor had a blood smeared coat on. He was silent and stoic. She lay atop the table, legs spread, scared and whimpering. She didn’t want a baby, she was frozen by the sight of blood; she didn’t want to think, didn’t want to feel. She shut her eyes and turned away.
A friend of a friend told her about this place. No one knew she was there and the lover who promised her the world walked into it and the mirage of a family disappeared with him. She was so scared.
The doctor sat between her legs and looked at the nurse. She silently picked up the paddle sharpened on one side and handed it to him. The nurse turned and looked at the girl with little compassion, “This is going to be uncomfortable. Bear down on this.” She handed her a rag to bite down on as the doctor put his fingers inside the girl and then pulled them out quickly. The girl jerked and the doctor eyed the nurse wearily. “Don’t move”, the nurse said turgidly. She turned her attention once again to the doctor.
The doctor forced the paddle in and scraped her uterus of the future fading fast. The girl screamed against the rag, tears squeezed out of eyes closed tight, pain gripping every part of her. “Is it worth it? The pain?” She was floating above herself asking these questions to no one. “Is this what you wanted to feel?” She passed out from the pain as the doctor and nurse exited the room to care for other patients.
“Time to go.” A hand shook the girl awake. Pain flooded her being as she opened her eyes and focused on the lack of kindness in the grip on her shoulder. She stared in horror, shocked by the feeling of pain, the emptiness that now filled her. “time to move on. We’re done here”, the nurse said with clipped tones.
The young girl winced as she sat up, taking inventory of her self and belongings. Not much, she thought. At least I’m walking out with less than what I walked in with. The crude thought startled her. She never knew herself to lack compassion, she just knew that having a kid right now was the worst thing imaginable. I need to walk, get these thoughts off my back.
Her walk was slow going. The burning ache from her core kept her moving, the pain was moderatly bearable, though less than the intense fear she felt about having a child. She took one step in front of the other, stopped for a moment, adjusted the bag on her shoulders containing everything in the world, and continued East. Towards the sun, she thought. Towards the birth of life, as I am the walking dead.
She stood there now, shaking her head of the memory as if to leave it at that spot. Her first crossroads. Right, left, or forward? She asked herself this question as she stared at the signs pointed north, south, and east. There were no words on them and she had no map to guide her.
The landscape was stark, though she never stopped to see or appreciate the changes that nature provides earth to maintain individuality. This was mostly because the young girl spent the daylight sleeping and moved softly through the land at night. The moon was her companion on the nights that it shone, otherwise the insects’ symphonies were her only companions on her unending journey.
She avoided all roads and highways. For food, she foraged- a gift taught her by her Gypsy grandmother. As a result, she stayed as far away from houses and people who might see the shame that she knew marked her soul.
She didn’t hurt anymore, not physically anyway. A month had passed and she felt as if everything she had experienced was nothing but a dream. The healing herbs- alfalfa, mullein, fennel, cohosh- they helped her alleviate the pain and finish what the doctor started.
Direction, she thought. Where to? She sat down, leaning against the signpost, facing the direction from which she came as the sun was starting to peak over the horizon.
Coral snake slithers
Circling corazón sangrante;
Squeezes – to cauterize the wound.
Ceres in snow,
Sheltered from the sweat of summer,
Birthed memory of stone.
Egg, explosion, end of existence –
World birthed anew.
Coral snake slithers
The heart once true.
Brigid bakes harvest bread
Spreads her seeds,
Husks swaying in the breeze.
Coral snake slithers,
Headdress of Atonement.
The Coral Midgard Snake,
Pet to Persephone
The loved one.
What has been done
Cannot be undone.
Note: This is one of many poems submitted for me by Donna Snyder and published in Return to Mago, a female driven online zine focusing on the importance of goddess worship in the 21st century. This is my first publication. It describes the various goddesses and their responsibility during the four seasons. It also depicts the beauty that embracing love creates and the ache that comes with it from betrayal. Enjoy!
This post is as a result of an article I read last night. Of late, things haven’t been the greatest in my pea brained mind. I haven’t been doing any programming. Instead, I’ve been writing pen pals in long hand correspondence, attending a writer’s workshop, and writing. I find it to be much less stressful than programming.
I still love programming, however I think I need a break from learning it as there isn’t much that I grasp the first five times doing something.
Writing poetry happens to be something I’ve always done. Writing short stories has not been attempted in some time, but I’m now writing a few. It’s going to take some time to get back into the world of continuously writing for the sake of writing, not just about events but about emotions and feelings. I’m hoping that this effort actually produces something that is worthwhile for culture.
It’s funny, I always thought people were incredibly wrong when they informed me I was creative. I guess they weren’t so far from the truth after all.
Be sure to check out my tumblr @ gloriadeniceexpression.tumblr.com
and if you’d like to, join me on Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/happyhaggy
I need to consolidate all my work to one location rather than having it everywhere. I’ll think about my course of action in the coming month. For now, let’s put out a target for here. I will be posting two times a week regarding what’s going on and, if necessary, provide links to work that is published by online publications, by myself, or by local literary initiatives.
Are you in your late twenties or early thirties and working as intern or in an entry-level position? No need to feel embarrassed. Research shows that self discovery in your twenties is perfectly natural. It’s what our brains are wired for.
The Wall Street Journal ran an article on delayed development in 2012 that helps explain.
“Until very recently, we had to make some pretty important life decisions about education and career paths, who to marry and whether to go into the military at a time when parts of our brains weren’t optimal yet,” says neuroscientist Jay Giedd at the National Institute of Mental Health, whose brain-imaging studies of thousands of young people have yielded many of the new insights. Postponing those decisions makes sense biologically, he says. “It’s a good thing that the 20s are becoming a time for self-discovery.”
If you’re like me, you spent your twenties working…
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Christmas is finally over, but the holiday season is still in full swing and will be until Easter. The season makes me miss New Orleans even more. I traveled across the city of El Paso a few days ago to the house my sister, her husband, my niece, my little brother, and my mother share. Of course, I set up my office at the dining room table and have been considering the purchase of such a table to save my posture and decrease neck pain.
My father, a tolerated guest due to his years of prolific and historical pain proffering program, is not only a constant on the couch- he picks fights and doesn’t understand why. This is the result of a malignant tumor that has been growing for the last two years in his brain. Tolerance…the single stoically American virtue that I see less and less of as the years pass on.
Point to ponder: Have I lost my tolerance or is my patience wearing thin? I’ll think about it and right something on this next time.
Yesterday saw to Christmas money being spent on the heavily reviewed and critiqued O’Reilly’s “CSS Cookbook, 2nd Edition”. I know, I know it’s dated. It was also only a dollar. Thrifty thrift store shopping. Natural medicine and herbal remedies happens to be another interest of mine. That same thrift run surfaced “The Honest Herbal” by Varro E. Tyler. It’s amazing and I will be posting a book review in due time as there are only four on Amazon.
Why CSS when we’re working on python, you ask? (Well, even if you didn’t…it’s a continuation of my solipsist conversation). Simple. I have a job. My services are in need. This post serves many purposes today, because it will show the versatility that social media provides to those who want to gain profits online.
The above photo links directly to my Instagram. Using the mobile app, I was able to also connect the same photo to Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Through the sharing abilities on my Android phone, I am also able to share the same photo to Pinterest and Google+.
By using WordPress as a website, an About page, Events page linked to various events websites, and photo gallery can be created and developed in a manner that increases views and shows people where products can be purchased. This can be done directly through the wordpress site as well as link to etsy, ebay, and other various online shopping destinations.
That’s all I have for now. My brain has decided to stop working for a bit. It’s a chilly day out here in the sun city. I want to conclude this post with a video, however Windows Live Writer keeps crashing. Instead, here is a direct link:
Enjoy! Happy Holidays!
Seven days after entering the world of computer programming, my life has seen some incredible changes. No, this isn’t a super creative or imaginative blog post. It’s simply a record of my experience this first week.
What is it about computer programming that interests me? Everything. Robotics and other forms of computer manipulation have always intrigued me and I did very well with them while in grade school. This interest continued as I pursued a mathematics degree, but was deterred because I don’t have a filter and, as a result, lost my grant and never achieved much beyond calculus.
Years of nomadically wondering the country attempting to find peace externally led me back home, a desert city with less to do than the lush green Eden I left it for. Family responsibilities and a preference not to interact led me back to the computer, well computers- I have two.
The extent of computer knowledge I have is all internet- based and in Office, mostly word processing. Windows was perpetually unfriendly and all I did for years was pretty much use StumbleUpon, torrent downloaders, and amass gigabytes of information that was unorganized and never really used. Needless to say, downloading, installing, and uninstalling programs, executable files, and applications got boring. Social media became useless outside of photo sharing and stalking. I was logging almost 18 hours online without doing anything productive, this needed to change.
In 2012, prior to hiking the Appalachian Trail, I took a free online course introducing me to Python which taught me basic vocabulary, minimal algorithms, and all the things needed to create a web crawler. Now, I’m already a web crawler and I found this pointless, but pursued it anyway and attained a certificate that permitted me to apply for a number of jobs available at Google. Unfortunately, so did the millions of people that took the class and I was not hired. Sad face.
Prior to this educational experience, I began to become bored with Windows and began installing Linux to the point of breaking my Gateway laptop. Happy Face. Linux is joyous in so many ways, especially since it provides a terminal for me to type random stuff into that does things to my computer.
It was only this week that I learned of PowerShell. I am smitten and absolutely love the Alias aspect of the CLI (command line interface), which allows me to create and manipulate the numerous default commands into a customized language. Another great aspect to PowerShell is that it provides around 200 Unix programming commands (cmdlts) that are basic in every computer program language. This is great for anyone that is forced to work on Windows. It also allows novices (noobs) like me to work on both Linux and Windows systems with the same basic language. The advances in technology are amazing.
It was on StumbleUpon that I came across programming-motherfucker.org. The online (and free!) book “How to Learn Python the Hard Way” is a great introductory text that explains the basics and requirements of becoming a programmer in a very straightforward and no-frills manner. As I stated earlier, my filter is broken, so to read something written by someone who also has no filter- well, it’s kismet.
Prior to reading the book, it is recommended to read the command line appendix in case. It was through this that I was introduced to Windows PowerShell and about 50 of the alias cmdlts. Typical to my true style, I downloaded and Scribd searched everything I could get my hands on and accumulated about 50 references for Python and Powershell. These references will be posted at some other time as my hour to post is almost up.
Microsoft is also providing free online courses that allow one to work towards points to test in Microsoft systems for free (!). It was there that I found a basic course in PowerShell, though it is still a bit advanced for me. I got about halfway through the first video before I had to stop it in order to memorize cmdlts (commandlets).
So that’s about it for my first week learning programming. If events permit, I’ll be posting weekly updates on my independent learning pursuits as well as other information regarding exercise, self sustainability, and craft activities that I am interesting in pursuing outside of the virtual world.
Thanks for reading! Comment freely with any questions or further information that is pertinent to the post.
Yesterday,I began working on blending both my windows is with Python, won programming language that’s on the high end and is highly recommended for beginners to use. Learn Pything the Hard Way is a book in a series of books that I will be using extensively throughout my time learning the various languages and methods of programming. I enjoy the author’s absolute disdain towards the human race and consider him grumpy beyond belief. I think that’s why I like him though. Well, there’s some. I’ll get on the laptop soon enough and type out what I have learned so far. This is so exciting!
Oh yeah, that’s me trying to force a directory (popd) and instead I typed in (pope) Hahaha!